The Bennington Vale Evening Transcript: World News

Showing posts with label World News. Show all posts

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Trump Ditches Paris Accord, Sets Sights on Jurassic Park-Inspired Fossil Fuel Farms

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SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In struggling to uphold his campaign pledges, many of which have stalled or faded away in a billow of brazen rhetoric, President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will withdraw the United States from the Paris accord, a landmark 2015 global agreement to combat the devastating effects of climate change. Trump has generally viewed green energy initiatives as unfounded scams that contribute nothing to the economy, although employment figures, growth projections and financial data paint a different portrait. Instead, Trump seeks to bolster American production and create jobs by reviving the whaling industry and, in an odd remark from the White House Rose Garden, “putting scientists to work engineering a tremendous Jurassic Park full of dinosaurs we can breed and harvest into petroleum -- like an amazing fossil fuel farm.”

Trump Wishes Israel a 'Rad Summer' in Guestbook Note at Holocaust Memorial

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Touring the site of Yad Vesham, a national Holocaust memorial in Israel, is a customary stop for U.S. presidential visits. The mood is generally somber and contemplative, as reflected in the heartfelt messages left by previous heads-of-state in the guestbook. Following tradition, President Donald Trump also made an entry on the pages of this historic ledger, but in a style the Washington Post described as “strangely upbeat, self-referential and written in his signature all-caps.” Unlike his predecessor, who penned an emotional and elegant tribute, Trump seemed to have confused the record for a yearbook and wished Israel a “rad summer with bitchin waves.”

Trump Meets Turkish President Erdogan, Hands Over Nuclear Codes While Boasting

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SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Following last week’s controversial meeting with Russian officials, in which President Trump divulged classified intelligence to foreign nationals who have been deemed hostile to U.S. interests, the White House welcomed Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan on Tuesday. Trump extended a warm greeting to Erdogan, an authoritarian ruler whose relationship with the United States has been strained and at times combative. The president praised his counterpart’s tough leadership style and boasted of a renewed alliance, remarking that he was eager to begin sharing sensitive state secrets with Turkey.

TASS Grants U.S. Press Access to Monitoring Devices Planted in Oval Office

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The day after President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey in a startling and virtually unprecedented decision, he raised further suspicion by hosting a closed-door meeting with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Ambassador Sergey Kislyak -- during an active investigation into his possible collusion with Moscow. More troubling, the White House blocked U.S. reporters from attending the conference but allowed members of TASS, Russia’s state-controlled news agency, to be present. Intelligence officials condemned the action as a major security breach, explaining that Russian crews could have brought in concealed electronic monitoring apparatus. But in a largess to the beleaguered U.S. press, TASS has agreed to give American journalists access to the live-streaming audio and video devices it planted in the Oval Office last week.

Acting FBI Director McCabe Excited About First and Probably Only Week in Office

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Acting, and most likely interim, FBI Director Andrew McCabe rejected a series of assertions by the White House that his predecessor, James Comey, had compromised the bureau’s integrity, lost the faith of the public and frustrated peers with his insistence on squandering Justice Department resources for a costly crusade to validate Russia’s meddling in the election, which Trump described as a “minor concern” to employees. McCabe boldly contradicted Trump’s allegations and praised Comey. He then vowed that nothing could prevent the FBI from “doing the right thing” and pushing the probe forward. After his testimony on Capitol Hill, McCabe said, “I’m terribly excited to step into this role, and I’m looking forward to the one or maybe two weeks I’ll get to serve America as the director of the FBI.”

Trump Met Russian Officials for Expert Advice on Replacing Comey as FBI Director

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Trump’s abrupt decision to fire FBI Director James Comey on Tuesday evening, as the probe into Russia’s interference with the election deepens, has raised the hackles of virtually every person outside the president’s circle of trust. Comey’s dramatic ouster as the nation’s chief law enforcement authority, who was deep in the middle of a sensitive investigation that could extend to Trump, casts further doubts on the president’s denials that no ties exist between his White House and the Kremlin. With Department of Justice and intelligence officials convinced that Russia meddled in U.S. affairs, Mr. Trump’s ill-timed, closed-door meeting with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov on Wednesday only intensified the scrutiny. But following the private conversation in the Oval Office, White House press representatives allayed public fears and explained that Trump was consulting with Moscow to help select the next director of the FBI -- someone intimately familiar with Russia to better lead the investigation.

Holocaust Remembrance: Trump's Stern Warning to Hitler, Who Died 72 Years Ago

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SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- During the annual Holocaust remembrance ceremony at the Capitol on Tuesday, President Trump attempted to send a forceful message to critics who have doubted his commitment to fighting discrimination and anti-Semitism. But Trump also indulged in his penchant for deviating from prepared remarks to interject rambling, incoherent and often bizarre anecdotes about deceased historical and public figures. While bestowing honors on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Trump veered off script and issued a puzzling call to recognize Frederick Douglass, implying that the famous abolitionist was still alive. He recently lavished similar present-tense accolades on Luciano Pavarotti, who died in 2007. But the confused commander-in-chief stunned Israel’s ambassador to the United States when he delivered a stern warning to Adolf Hitler, whose life ended 72 years ago.

Pence Warns North Korea of Trump’s Military Resolve: “He Won’t Hesitate to Kill Us All”

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SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Donald Trump frittered away Easter Sunday at the noticeably sparse Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House. During the celebration, the 139th of its kind, Trump belittled the audience, bullied adoring children, complained that the predominantly pubescent attendees (girls over the age of 13) offered little in the way of “Easter eye candy,” and disappointed revelers who discovered only pillow mints from Trump hotels inside their plastic eggs. Meanwhile, Vice President Mike Pence traveled to the Korean Peninsula to warn Kim Jong-un against testing Trump’s willingness to launch preemptive strikes in response to threats. “I urge North Korea not to question the strength of the Armed Forces of the United States in this region, nor our president’s itchy trigger finger,” Pence said. “He’ll do it. He’ll press the button. He’ll kill us all.”

White House Says Trump Desperate to Start World War III Before Russia Investigation Ends

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Just two days after firing a barrage of Tomahawk missiles at Syria, the United States dropped the GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast (MOAB), colloquially dubbed the “Mother of All Bombs,” on a cave complex controlled by Islamic State militants in Afghanistan. Intelligence sources also confirmed on Thursday that naval destroyers had positioned themselves about 300 miles from strategic targets in North Korea. When questioned about the increasingly aggressive military actions sanctioned by Trump this week, White House officials emphasized the “now unavoidable need to start World War III before this Russia investigation wraps up.”

Spicer Fumbles Apology for Hitler Remarks by Defending Darth Vader and Lord Sauron

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer ignited a feverish backlash in the Jewish community on Tuesday when he invoked a defense of Hitler to suggest that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s atrocities surpassed those of the Nazis. Spicer’s ill-timed comments took place during Passover, the most celebrated Jewish holiday in the United States. Critics pointed out that these seemingly insensitive remarks were part of a larger anti-Semitic rhetoric used by members of the Trump administration. Late Tuesday evening, in a disastrous attempt to apologize and clarify his intentions, Spicer ended up defending Darth Vader and Lord Sauron. Civil rights groups across the country have since demanded Spicer’s resignation.

Trump Weighs Response to Syria Gas Attack, Suggests Closing Off Country Behind Massive Wall

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Tuesday, a chemical attack in Syria killed at least 86 civilians, including 30 children and 20 women, according to reports from the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. The magnitude of the strikes, and the horrific loss of life, forced President Trump to acknowledge the gravity of the vicious genocide unfolding. In a rare departure from the counsel of his unofficial foreign policy adviser, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump told members of Congress and Jordan’s King Abdullah II that he may consider retaliatory action: cutting of all financial aid to Jordan, which is using the funds to harbor Syrian refugees, and walling off the country behind a massive fortification along its borders.

A Trump Saint Patrick’s Day: Nigerian Poetry, Disabled Children and Lots of Orange

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Trump honored Saint Patrick’s Day in his accustomed idiom by citing a Nigerian poem as a proverb of the Emerald Isle during a meeting with Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny. The breakfast began, as The Washington Post explained, with a “cringe-worthy, mildly offensive Irish cliche in front of a room full of Irish people.” The event, hosted at the residence of Vice President Mike Pence, degenerated from there. Among the gaffes were Speaker Paul Ryan’s hoisting of a “despicable pint” of Guinness, which resembled a glass of fetid diarrhea, followed by outraged special needs advocates and lots of orange.

Trump Honors International Women’s Day with Jobs for Chinese Escorts

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Bill Clinton was once referred to as America’s “first black president” by Nobel prize-winning author Toni Morrison and Sen. Bernie Sanders. Barack Obama, according to respected Republican pundits, was the nation’s second black president and the first foreign-born Islamic jihadist to occupy the White House. Our latest commander-in-chief has demonstrated a lifetime of profound respect and passion for women. It would be insulting not to brand Trump the country’s “first female president.” And this International Women’s Day, his global ambitions were realized as China approved 38 Trump business trademarks, including one for escort services. “With this terrific deal, we can help get Chinese women out of the sweatshops and into the glamorous, lucrative field of prostitution,” the president said, wiping a proud tear from his eye.

Wiretap Exposes Trump Ties to Russia: Victim of Nigerian-style Email Scam

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The Twittersphere erupted in a calamitous fusillade of angry posts on Saturday by President Donald Trump, who accused former President Barack Obama of ordering a Nixon-era wiretap on the Trump Tower offices in October. Legal experts pointed out several problems with the chief executive’s understanding of wiretapping protocols. Only a federal judge can authorize such an action, and only when a preponderance of evidence suggests criminal wrongdoing or treason -- in this case, the supposed collusion between Trump team members and operatives in Moscow. However, in a stunning revelation on Monday, undisclosed sources from the National Security Agency (NSA) verified a connection but cautioned that Trump and his colleagues may be innocent of treason. The current opinion is that the real estate magnate, in a desperate ploy to save his dwindling fortune, fell victim to a Nigerian email-type scam that originated in Russia.

Trump Hails Renewed NASA Space Program as Final Frontier in Deportation

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Since Trump’s inauguration, his cabinet and the heads of federal agencies have endured a fraught, heated battle of wills. In some instances, the president pledged to dismantle regulatory bodies such as the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). For other overly bureaucratic and onerous offices, like the Department of Energy (DOE), Trump appointed leaders who were willing to sabotage the existing infrastructures and undo decades of unnecessary projects that attack faith-based initiatives. Now there remains the complex matter of what to do with NASA. The agency became one of Trump’s first targets, when he threatened to cut all funding for climate science. On Tuesday, however, the president surprised Congress by calling for a renewal of the space program, which he believes will prove instrumental in his massive deportation efforts.

NASA Exoplanet Discovery: Trump Plans Space Wall to Stop Undocumented Aliens

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On February 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) teased an intriguing discovery. The announcement alluded to the possibility that scientists had identified life-sustainable planets beyond our solar system. Astronomers applauded the news, but terrified Trump officials described the discovery as an immigration powder keg, on a galactic scale. The president warned of an imminent “end-time event,” as billions of undocumented aliens and terrorists would invade the United States. He lashed out at the Obama administration for rejecting the public’s call to construct a Death Star, and vowed to build “some kind of killer space fortress” to protect American interests.

Sweden's Last Night: How a Country Perished in Secret

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Late Friday evening, Sweden, the Scandinavian jewel of economic strength and social prosperity, crumbled under a devastating wave of terror attacks. Although intelligence agencies, dishonest media and Sweden’s former leaders attempted to cover up the demise of the country, U.S. President Donald Trump broke the news on Saturday at a campaign-style rally in Florida. Among the dead were a renowned chef, award-winning auto manufacturers and entertainers from the thriving porn industry. Despite the world’s efforts to downplay or even deny the destruction, Trump remained steadfast in promoting the truth. The massive subterfuge was so well orchestrated that most surviving Swedes appeared baffled that anything had happened. But the evidence is overwhelming, and the fallout could affect America’s economy, particularly as powerful retailers like IKEA shift business models to address the crisis.

Mexico Tightens Border to U.S. Refugees Fleeing Trump After Iran Confrontation

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- According to acting Co-President Steve Bannon, the future glory of the United States will emerge from the putrid fog of war - in fact, many wars. The Guardian quotes Bannon as predicting armed conflicts over the disputed South China Seas territory within 10 years, while another inevitable battle will erupt in the Middle East during the same time. On Wednesday, the administration’s bloodlust flared again when the president warned Mexico of possible troop deployments to eliminate “bad hombres.” This was accompanied by Trump’s frightening display of saber-rattling against Iran over a missile test. Millions of American refugees, now terrified by the prospect of global war, rushed to the border this week to seek asylum in Mexico. But to prevent known foreign extremists, rapists and job-stealers from entering the country, the Mexican government has imposed crossing fees and extreme vetting processes for U.S. immigrants.

Trump Includes Radical White Trump Supporters in Travel Ban

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The peace of a sleepy winter Sunday in Quebec was jarred by gunfire when Alexandre Bissonnette, 27, walked into a mosque and unleashed a hail of bullets. Six people were killed and eight injured. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau branded the tragedy an act of terrorism. As the New York Times reported, “The shooting was the first time anyone had been killed in a mosque in Canada in such circumstances and was, at least in recent times, a rare event outside the Muslim world.” Bissonnette, according to former classmates, was a far-right, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant and anti-feminist white supremacist who was enthralled with U.S. President Donald Trump. In honoring his commitment to protect Americans from terrorists, Trump expanded his travel ban on Tuesday to include all white, radical, foreign Trump supporters until “we figure out what the hell is going on.”

2017 Fitness Resolutions? Trump Endorses North Korean Dirt Diet

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A new study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provides compelling evidence for American men to stick by 2017 New Year’s weight-loss resolutions. Nearly 50 percent of men, the report found, remain seated for three-quarters of the day, compared to only 13 percent of women. The result? A rise in obesity. However, President-elect Donald Trump offered some unusual advice as part of his commitment to overhaul the existing U.S. health system. The conversation came from a recent briefing on the threat of North Korea. Rather than discussing the predictably erratic antics of Pyongyang’s minuscule but tyrannical autocrat, Trump raved about a new fad in weight loss based on the North Korean diet of dirt and tree bark, which is sure to help millions shed unwanted pounds in 2017. This “all natural” and “portion-sensible” diet, Trump opined, can reduce American dependence on Obamacare and food stamps.